Showing posts with label sux2BU. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sux2BU. Show all posts

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Jewish Hero Corps Mac & Cheese

This makes me feel really bad for Jewish kids. I mean, you're already down about the lack of cool holiday figures, the last thing you want to see is a set of the most embarassing superheroes in creation blasting across your pasta box.

The characters themselves seem to have been engineered for maximum stereotypicality, too, giving us such protectors as Menorah Man, Dreidelgirl, and David, the Star of Presumably the Forsaken Foreskin is bringing the Jewmobile around so they can do battle with the evil Dr. Surf n' Turf.

How they plan on beating him, however, I'm not quite sure. The menorah guy seems to have some sort of generic flame/blaster power, ok, fair enough, and Dreidel Girl can spin really fast, deflecting most attacks, but only from her boobs down. I would think that leaving her head wide open to attack is not the best way to rush into battle, but maybe she gets dizzy really easily and spends the whole attack barfing on the sidelines when she does the full body spin. As for the mighty Star of David, he has a shield and the dynamic punching fist pose, so I guess he's just an all-around kosher badass. Whatever. Even I can admit they make some sad, forced sort of sense.

But what the fuck are the three in the way back doing? The blue chick has 'SQ' on her shirt, and the only thing I can come up with for it is 'abbreviation for square.' I think the Jews have all their basic clip art shape needs pretty much sewn up in the whole star thing, though, so it must mean something else. For my money, it stands for 'Super Queer' 'cause for a girl, she's got a mighty serious case of man-face. It's no coincidence her wand bears more than a passing semblance to a french tickler.

Ditto for the dude right across from her and his rainbow belt. The thing on his chest looks like one of those floppy fabric frisbees that were briefly popular in the early 90's. And if there's anything less manly than a soft, non-dangerous frisbee, of all things, I can't think of it. So I'm going to say those two have some sort of GLBTmeASAP sort of love affair going on, which makes the MW girl either their slave, or the lonely unfuckable 'smart' character of the group. Her one true love is the study and progression of kosher cheese products.

As for the actual mac & cheese, eh. It was ok.