Sunday, November 16, 2008


Once upon a time there were two tasty cookie brothers, born of the union of an Oreo and an E.L.Fudge (you know, I didn't realize that E.L.Fudge=Elf until I was in college? Isn't that sad?). These cookies had happy little faces, and were named Giggles, which sounds more like a horror movie than a food. Or maybe a horror movie about food. But anyway, they were very tasty, and unfortunately, did not make it out of the '80s.

Except they did! They snuck off too...I can't even remember where these are from, but not the U.S, and hid there in little cookie-sized bunkers, waiting for the time to arrive when they could emerge from their isolation and reclaim their rightful place along side the Mallowmars and Chips Ahoy.

But years and years of inbreeding while in hiding had terrible consequences....grape consequences. That's right, these things are grape flavored. They have excitingly purple filling and taste like the worst thing you can imagine. Cookies are just not meant to be artificially grape flavored. I adore the taste of fake grapes, it's by far my favorite flavor of anything, but this is just wrong in an unfixable way. Largely because there is no way you can prepare yourself for it. It's bad in a way you simply cannot imagine unless you've experienced it personally.

I mean, what other cookie has ever been grape flavored? None, that's what, and with damn good reason. If it doesn't go with chocolate, it doesn't belong in a cookie, that's my new motto.

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