Sunday, November 16, 2008

Hogs Heaven Mini Pretzels

These were actually just normal, if excessively salty, pretzels. But I had to try them, based on the tagline at the bottom of the bag. Put Some "More" South in Your Mouth" What?

Most of the south that comes to my mind is not anything I would want in my mouth, much less quote-unquote more of it. And they weren't spiced or flavored in any way, sooooo....I still don't know exactly what the Southern aspect of these things was.

Which leaves me wondering what the hell did they sneak into these pretzels that makes them "more south"-y. It has to be something, right? Otherwise why the hell would that be their slogan? Where did it come from?? God, I hope it's not related to the brand name...I have the most uncomfortable feeling that I just ate something that was fried up in pig anus oil. Ugh. Not knowing what's actually in my scary food makes it immeasurably worse than it probably is. I watched all those 20/20 exposes John Stossel and his giant moustache did in the early '90's. I know there's all kinds of crazy behind-the-scenes shit going on in my food, I just don't like it when I'm given cryptic hints to that effect. Just let me enjoy my pretzels and my denial in peace, thankyouverymuch!

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